What is ILWAD?
A place for those of us who refuse to allow a disability to become a defect, a disadvantage or a defeat. ( More Info? )
Christine McKee @tlcristy ?
active 2 months, 3 weeks ago-
Christine McKee posted an update: 2 months, 4 weeks ago · updated 1 month, 3 weeks ago · View
Warning: This post may trigger!! Please read with CAUTION, as it is a little graphic, and may have TRIGGER WORDS!!
Well, I just went through about 2 weeks of H@LL! My youngest daughter, who has Bipolar Disorder, OCD, Anxiety Disorder, (and possible Schizo-affective disorder) made me cry, made me angry, made me sad.
She was supposed to meet her new psychiatrist on February 6th, but refused OUTRIGHT, to go. I even called up her psychologist, to see if she could talk Emma into going, with no results.
Between my husband and I, her psychologist, our family doctor, and ”the system”, we have been trying to get her her own psychiatrist for about 2 years now.
Her symptoms started back when she was 11, (she’ll be 15 this June) with Depression. She was first hospitalized in May 2010 for suicidal gestures. She was already on anti-depressants, but I have a strong feeling that they tipped her over into hypo-mania.
Since last July, she’s been hospitalized now 5 times. 3 times for overdosing on medications, and this last time, just over a week ago. This time, she had put a noose around her neck, and I found her unconscious and blue, in her bed. She had texted her best friend with one word. ”Goodbye”.
Thank God that her friend got the text, and contacted me. Otherwise, I would have been going through the grieving process right now and would probably be in the hospital myself!
The hospital held her for only 7 days, and discharged her because they felt that she was no longer ”in crisis”! We had only found out on Feb. 3rd, when she was brought into Emergency Psychiatric Treatment by the police, that she has been hearing voices telling her to kill people, as well as to kill herself. EPT released her, as they felt that she wasn’t a danger to anyone or to herself. BIG MISTAKE…OBVIOUSLY!!
While she was hospitalized, the chief resident psychiatrist felt that he could not change her medications, DESPITE the fact that she has been telling everyone and anyone who will listen that they are NOT WORKING!!
He felt that if he were to start her on new medications, that her new psychiatrist (whom she hasn’t met yet, nor do we know exactly WHEN she will be seeing him) would be the better one to do what he felt is right as far as the meds go.
Dr. A, at the hospital didn’t want to start her on new meds, and have Dr. S, the new psychiatrist, disagree and change them again. SO!
Now we, as my husband and I are so used to doing, have to monitor her moods since she has come home. She is reportedly still hearing the voices, and WAS still hearing them upon her discharge, but the laws here in Ontario state that a MINOR can ONLY be held for another 72 hours if the doctors feel she is in ”imminent” danger to herself or others.
Other than that, they cannot hold a MINOR against their will, if they wish to go home.
HOW does that make a modicum of sense??!! I tell you what…it DOESN’T!!
So..after all the stress of the past 10+ days, we are waiting until this Tuesday coming, so that Emma can meet with her Child Psychologist. With faith, hope and God’s hand, Emma will also meet her new Psychiatrist before the week is out.
Until then…we take it minute to minute, hour to hour, and day by day.
One of these days, I have to make an appointment to see my OWN Psychiatrist! I’ve been SO busy watching over and taking care of Emma, that I have ignored my own need for mental health support and haven’t seen him in about a year. I’m sure he won’t be pleased with me, but I know he’ll understand the kind of pressure and stress that I was under. But I also know that if I don’t take care of myself, then I will be no good at all to my daughter. Not to mention my older two daughters and my granddaughter!
Peace, hope and joy.
Christine
Hi Christine, t’s so difficult to be a parent but also to be a daughter/son, and to be a patient at the same time…………..!!? Sometimes it’s even too difficult just being a PERSON !!! I can relate to your daughter as we more or less share quite the same bunch of disorders, and it is so difficult to have to accept the fact that we do need an extra hand, in terms of phychiatric help, be it medication wise and/or anaysis. Please, keep me informed on the events and feel free to drop a message, private message or an open one whenever you need to. I found out that listening to others is of immense value and lending them a hand is a very rewarding process.
Christine, I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve been dealing with. As if you having your own issues and challenges to get past isn’t bad enough you have a child with her own set of issues. My son has OCD and depression. When he was younger it was a constant battle because he didn’t want to take his medication. It was so bad that I would give him his itty bitty pill to swallow and he would stand over the sink gagging, shaking, promising to take it tomorrow. I felt like I was the worst mommy in the world because I would stand firm until he would take it. I crushed it and put it in ice cream yogurt. He spit in out. I would ground him from all Xbox, playstation games. computer. But in the end I was the bad one. It certainly was war every night when it was his medication time and his daddy didn’t do any better. Finally we through up our hands and told the doctor that I would rather be dropped in the middle of a bunch of blood thirsty sharks. After that for the next month I would call my son into the kitchen give him his pills and he would take it and THERE WAS PEACE!!!. No peace just lies. We went back for his month check up and they did a blood work up on him. After a few hours the doctor called me and informed me that he wasn’t taking his medication. But I knew different I gave it to him every single day, watched him take it. What a fool mom was when I found out that the blood work showed that there isn’t any medication in his system. He admitted to putting it in his mouth and when I turn around he would spit it out in sink and wash it down. He said he didn’t like the way the medication made him feel. And the doctor said we were fighting a losing battle. So he continued with his appointments and he took the meds that he could and we didn’t fight with him other the other. Then one day before he graduated high school he came to me and said mom I think I’m too depressed and no motivations. I need to take that medication. He’s been taking medication for his illness and it’s done wonders.
I hope that your family can meet on medium ground and that everything turns out good. I will keep you in my prayers.
Bless You
Im so sorry to hear about your ordeal with both your family and with the mental health system. There are so many different issues with our mental health system (I live in the U.S.) that I cant even begin to fathom on where to start. My dad works in a mental health hospital as a Registered Nurse supervisor, so he has his perspective of the people who abuse the system, the homeless who use it as room & board, the violent patients who send employees to the ER, kids who take too many drugs and ’flip out,’ etc. Then I also have bipolar II and anxiety, so I can understand your daughter and her issues with living and getting by. Then I see my parents who struggle with trying to help me in my bouts of depression and my friends who dont have a clue what to do. Then, I also worked in employment services for teens who had mental health issues, and that was pretty depressing, as well as a personal struggle trying to get them to follow through on tasks. Then there is our country who is taking funding away from mental health hospitals, care, health benefits, etc. Our government has no clue as to how mental illness affects those who ”suffer” from it. Well, sorry to be complaining about it, but I just totally understand your frustrations with the system as well as the family issues, and with your daughter’s perspective. Your daughter is lucky to have caring, proactive parents like yourself. I could have never gotten better without the support of my family and loved ones, that’s for sure. Hang in there, and I’d love to hear from you anytime.
-sarah