How do you get what you want if you never ask for it? Asking for what you want and need can be hard sometimes. Recognizing what you need, voicing your opinion, and not allowing others to take advantage of your good intentions, are important rites of passage in becoming an adult.
Sometimes we allow others to dictate what we need, what we should do in life, and how we should act. We let others make decisions for us, instead of taking charge of our own lives; sometimes that seems easier than deciding things on our own. Well, no more! Years of doing this can lead to unhappiness and often times, low self-esteem.
Time, experience, and learning from the past, help us to create our future environment. We learn what makes us feel comfortable and confident. However, what comforts us often is not the same thing that builds our confidence. Performing the same actions or not taking charge of attaining what we need doesn’t promote growth. What promotes growth is change.
By taking chances, you learn about yourself; you learn how to care for yourself and get what you need by standing up for what you believe in. When I make a request from someone, they have the option of saying “yes” or “no.” However, if I never ask the question, the answer will definitely be “no.” The chance that my request will be granted is 50%. I like those odds. On the other hand, if I never took the risk to ask for what I wanted, then my chance of getting what I want would be 0%. Even if the other person says no, there may be an opportunity to negotiate and come up with an alternate solution to please both people.
The next time you feel you need something, go for it! The worst thing that can happen is the person denying your request. It’s always a disappointment when a request is turned down, but think of it like this: you were brave enough to try something new, and you stood up for what you believe in; you can be proud of yourself for taking care of your needs. Get what you need or want, and ask! If you never ask for it, who is going to do it for you?
Is there an example in your life where you have had to ask for something, but were afraid to ask? How did you overcome that fear, and what was the result of your standing up for yourself?